So Amazed

Lyrics keep thrumming through my bones today.

"7 o'clock in the morning, here it comes
I heed the warning and I am so amazed
I'm here today seeing things so clear this way..."

That's how I feel right now, disconnected and awash in warnings.

A lot of death lately. A man from college died last night. He was no friend of mine but he was beloved by those I love so I morn their losses.

"The air inside just hangs with delusions..."

I am weighed down right now with shades. Shades of what ifs and one more moment pleases.
Spectres of self doubt and trust. Blown away from my heart and head by coldness of breath and finality of death.

"But given time I'll be fine..."

I know this shall pass. But for now I am choosing to live in this body; Feel these emotions; Hold every thought and feeling up to the light and dissect it and myself in the process.

But I cannot allow myself to solely live in my head. It's time to mourn and accept what is gone to feel and accept the healing emotion brings.

And listen to some CSN.