I am fully in discontent with this winter's seasons of death and decay.
The usual laments of spring crazed romantics call to me like Sirens. Oh the desire to add to the rubbish pile of spring tide ode-ing!
When will the grey end? When will the soul numbing cold cease? When will hope and living and happy warmth return?
I breathe and count to ten.
I remind myself to try to be present and be appreciative of the now.
Cuz spring leads to August swelter which I hate. Hate it!!
No the last dregs of the time of storage and want are almost gone. I try to feel the gnaw in my belly, my soul, as a good thing. A leanness that strengthens resolve and a necessity of community for survival. The sharing of what's left to nurture and sustain until the green and growth come back around.
I am very, very grateful to my close knit community and the life sustained (mine) by their love, courage and most importantly their storytelling.
The time for doing, the deep digging, moving and ACTION is a hair length away.
The time huddled together sharing and nurturing and holding back each other's darkness will pass. And that is a loss as much as the bloom of Springtime is a gain.
Winter has always been my time. It's darkness protective. It's coldness profound and embraceable yet escapable when too frigid. The sweet loneliness of Spring and the sweaty lust of Summer were an affront to my nature. The broiling heat dreaded (and honestly still dreaded).
So it's odd, or maybe not so much, how different this year's turning has been for me. I feel rabid with the need for all this death and hunger and longing and want to end. But instead I am trying to fight this uncharacteristic, overwhelming response to see Winter's ass hitting the door on its way out!
Enjoy the now. Embrace the cycle as it is in this moment. And search inside for the beauty that each second brings.
And it's almost easy! Like quantum physics.
Just follow your breath.